Access in the Shadow of Ableism: An Autoethnography of a Blind Student's Higher Education Experience in China

The HCI research community has witnessed a growing body of research on accessibility and disability driven by efforts to improve access. Yet, the concept of access reveals its limitations when examined within broader ableist structures. Drawing on an autoethnographic method, this study shares the co-first author Zhang’s experiences at two higher-education institutions in China, including a specialized program exclusively for blind and low-vision students and a mainstream university where he was the first blind student admitted. Our analysis revealed tensions around access in both institutions: they either marginalized blind students within society at large or imposed pressures to conform to sighted norms. Both institutions were further constrained by systemic issues, including limited accessible resources, pervasive ableist cultures, and the lack of formalized policies. In response to these tensions, we conceptualize access as a contradictory construct and argue for understanding accessibility as an ongoing, exploratory practice within ableist structures.