Mutual Surveillance in Couples with Memory Concerns

Couples managing memory loss often face challenges in maintaining online security, employing strategies ranging from manual oversight to consumer surveillance technologies. However, current tools offer little support for collaborative decision-making about cybersafety threats such as malicious links and deceptive websites. Moreover, systems that enable monitoring within relationships may be perceived as intrusive—especially when they lack mechanisms for mutual negotiation. We present findings from a deployment study of a collaborative cybersafety system designed to support couples navigating surveillance choices in the context of cognitive decline. Drawing on usage data and interviews, we identify distinct couple profiles based on their approaches to surveillance, transparency, and negotiation. Notably, couples already familiar with consumer surveillance tools expressed more discomfort with our system than those relying on manual oversight. We discuss implications for the design of relationally aware security tools and reflect on evolving norms of interpersonal monitoring in the context of care.